Can't bat or bowl, can go-kart

HEROES

David Warner (Australia)

Warner made his name as an explosive limited-overs opener, and it was only a matter of time before a Test opponent felt the full brunt of his aggression. A hapless India was the unfortunate victim as he clubbed an unbeaten 104 in the final session on the first day in Perth, with his 69-ball ton the fourth-fastest in Test history. The clinic continued on day two as Warner surpassed India's first-innings total of 161 off his own bat. The visitors were reduced to rope-a-dope tactics to dismiss the Australian and Ishant Sharma finally made the breakthrough, having Warner caught in the deep for 180.

Thierry Henry (Arsenal)

Critics of Arsene Wenger's decision to sign Arsenal legend Thierry Henry on a two-month loan said the New York Red Bulls striker was too old for English football. They were wrong. Just nine minutes after coming on as a second-half sub in the FA Cup third round against Leeds, Henry latched on to a clever through ball, took a touch and stroked the ball past the keeper in familiar style. The Emirates Stadium crowd erupted, Henry gave Wenger a bear hug on the touchline and Leeds' challenge evaporated. Less spectacular but just as effective was Paul Scholes' surprise return for Manchester United. He starred in the FA Cup tie against City and capped his Old Trafford return with a goal against Bolton.

Bevan Small (Central Districts, NZ)

The 19-year-old turned a mundane domestic Twenty20 clash into an international sensation with his role in one of the great catches of all time. A lofted drive from Northern Districts opponent Brad Wilson looked certain to clear the boundary until Small leaped into the air, soared over the rope and palmed the ball back to fellow fielder Michael Mason, who completed the catch with an exaggerated dive.

Mohamed Adnan (Brisbane Roar)

Adnan, a lanky Bahraini, has been derided for his ineptness with set pieces, so it was no surprise he enjoyed his 93rd-minute equaliser against Sydney FC on Saturday night. Standing over a free kick 25 yards from goal, Adnan connected perfectly with his instep, sending the ball curling over the wall and beyond the reach of the diving Sky Blues keeper. It was sweet relief for the Roar, whose second position on the A-League table belies a horrible slump since Sydney ended their record run of 36 unbeaten matches back in December.

GOATS

Besart Berisha (Brisbane Roar)

Adnan's leveller in injury time at Suncorp Stadium left barely 90 seconds for either team to snatch a win. Brisbane needed less than a minute. Berisha's glanced header from close range sent the 14,545 crowd into raptures, capping a 2-1 win as remarkable as it was spookily reminiscent of the Roar's injury-time heist in last year's grand final. But the drama wasn't over, thanks to Berisha's demonstration of how not to win gracefully. Ripping his shirt off after the final whistle, he attempted to goad opponent Pascal Bosschaart into following him into the players' tunnel, apparently intending to settle their differences with a fight. Despite Roar coach Ange Postecoglou's insistence he saw nothing untoward, Berisha's responsibility for the ensuing melee should see him banned for a number of matches.

Willie Ripia (Western Force)

Team sport is all about trust. Once teammates cannot trust each other, there is no hope of success on the field. That made Ripia's reported theft from his Western Force colleagues all the more baffling. The club has refused to publicly reveal the reasons for Ripia's sudden resignation from the Super Rugby franchise but reports said the fly-half was caught on CCTV stealing money from players' wallets and bags in the dressing room. However, subsequent acknowledgement that Ripia had returned to his native NZ to receive treatment for a gambling problem shed some light on the troubled back's motivation.

Ishant Sharma (India)

India's inability to handle pressure has been one of the hallmarks of their forgettable summer so far, and not merely on the cricket pitch. Already Virat Kohli has been docked half his match fee for raising his middle finger to hecklers at the SCG. There was also the comical outrage by Indian officials after the innocuous revelation that WACA groundstaff had enjoyed a drink on the uncovered 3rd Test pitch. On Monday, Sharma joined the hall of shame as the tourists visited a go-kart centre in suburban Perth. The young paceman flipped the finger to a local who asked him, not unreasonably: "Why don't you go learn how to bat and bowl before you go go-karting?".

"It will be 3-0, mate," the heckler added, correctly.

The views in this article are those of the authors and not necessarily those of BigPond Sport.