Six things: Be thankful for our World Cup miss

Now that the dust has settled – or is that just another Qatar summer sandstorm? – we can be rational about FIFA's near total rejection of Australia's bid for the 2022 World Cup finals. And be thankful that we dodged a bullet.

1. We'll never see Scooby Roo again

What were we thinking? A dopey-looking animated kangaroo steals the Jules Rimet Trophy and is chased around Australia by a menacing looking character on a motorbike, somehow ending up in the shadow of Uluru on a bush football pitch. Were we trying to prove that we can do dust and sand too? Then the threatening bloke turns out to be an embalmed elderly man who until a couple of weeks ago was facing possible criminal charges for tax evasion. Paul Hogan. Elle Macpherson. Was it the 1986 finals we were pitching for?

2. We don't have to suck up to FIFA any more

No more "technical inspections" that somehow end up on Frank Lowy's yacht on sunny Sydney Harbour. No more expensive handbags for executive committee members' wives. No more lavish buffets: lark's breath mousse, anyone? No need to give our country over to a private organisation – one that required a suspension of normal immigration rules and generously demanded all the profits for no expenditure – for months on end. And no more crawling. No more brown-nosing, no more simpering, no more kow-towing to a bunch of pampered, overfed nobodies. Until the next time we bid for a World Cup or an Olympic Games, that is.

3. Frank Lowy can have a rest

After all the effort, after all the millions spent – surely some of it from Lowy's own pocket – all he got was a kiss from Elle. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

4. We're not England

Phew. You reckon we were cranky? The Poms have taken it very personally, moaning that football hasn't come "home". They trotted out the No.2 in line for the throne and their new PM. And Becks! Becks was there, in person, and he couldn't get England over the line. Oh, the shame.

5. We don't have to pretend that the world loves us any more

One vote. We managed one vote. Apart from giving that bloke an honorary Order of Australia and a lifetime ticket to all of Phil Noyce's subsequent films, there's not much else to be said. We're not actually that popular. We're not so cute and cuddly that our endearing features outweigh the fact that people in Europe would have to get up really early to watch World Cup matches beamed from the Antipodes.

6. Other football codes can relax

We know that deep down the likes of Andrew Demetriou and David Gallop are delighted that the World Cup is off to Qatar in 2022. There's now no need to tinker with fixtures and say goodbye to critical stadia for the lead-up to and the duration of the World Cup, plus any long-term threat to Australian football, league and rugby from soccer is surely much diluted.

The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of BigPond Sport.